You Are Always

You are the great advise that I never listen to.
The perfect full rainbow that I couldn't capture.
The beautiful, freezing, blue sea in winter.
The blue moon on the night of a storm.
You are the peaceful dream I somehow can't remember.
The melody I hum for weeks but never the words.
The decadent dessert I can't have because of the peanuts.
You are always my almost.

You are my favorite oscillation
The unforgettable maybe.
The longest wait.
The sweetest heartbreak.
The deepest sigh.
You are my three am lonely thoughts.
The salt on my pillow
You are the yearning that haunts me when it rains.
You are always, only, my someday.

But then you are the sudden smile when I am alone.
And somehow that makes it all worth it.
Even if
You are always never mine.

Dear Hopeful Heart

Dear Hopeful,

Stay away from a man with a broken heart.
He will be needy and more than ready to cling.
He will be vulnerable and you might always mistake it for a soft side
And be wrongfully impressed because he is in touch with his feelings...
Or worse, see his raw wounds as intimacy. It isn't.
All animals cry out when they are struck.

You will feel the swing of his moods but will choose to be patient.
He leaves you reeling but you will never fail to make excuses.
You keep thinking one day... one day.
So you white knuckle it through the pain of the cuts made on your hands
when you tried to piece together all his broken parts
And hope that they will heal. Later.
When his jagged, shattered parts are back in.
Love, what if its his skin that's abrasive and not his broken heart?
What if he was born with thorns?

You will be the lifesaver.
The driftwood he clings to.
As he fights his way to shore.
You will mistake the way his arms are wound tightly around you for a loving embrace.
Instead of simply a desperate bid at survival.
And once his toes touch sand and he heaves and lounges, wobbles at the shore, he will see himself finally safe and whole.
Then he will see you too.
But what use has an inland man for you when he no longer drowns?
It is rare for him to keep you.
Some will be grateful and thank you but always, leave you by the shore.
Some will push you back into the waves, with a noble tbought for you to save more lives.
Most will never look back. And leave you to drown in an angry bitter sea of your own making.
Don't say I didn't warn you.

Love,
The Mending